Laundry n.  Soft articles of material that are chewable (aids in teething); when fresh out of the dryer are exceptionally cuddly.

Leash n.  A leather or fabric strap that attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

Dog Bed n.  Any soft, clean surface such as the white bedspread in the guest room, or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

Garbage Can n.  A container that your neighbor put out once a week to test your ingenuity.  You must stand on your hind legs in order to push the lid off with your nose.  If you do it properly, you'll be rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread to eat.

Drool vi.  What you do when your person has food and you don't.  To drool properly, you must sit as close to your person as you can, look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on your persons lap.

Deafness n. This is a malady that affects dogs when their person wants them inside and they want to stay out.  Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, running in the opposite direction or lying down.

Thunder n.  This is a signal that the world is coming to an end.  Humans remain amazingly calm during the thunderstorms so it is necessary to warn them of danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heals.

Bath n. This is the process by which the humans drench you, the floor, walls and themselves.  You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently once you leave the tub.

Bump n.  The best way to get your person's attention when they're drinking a cup of coffee or tea.

Cat n. A fuzzy furry funny looking animal that is fun to chase through the house.
Note: When done chasing, they are fun to cuddle with.

Love n. Love is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction.  The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail.  If your lucky, a human will love you in return.